Pitch Report II

Welcome to the second edition of Pitch Report. On paper the English team has whitewashed Bangladesh 3-0 in the ODIs. But a closer analysis reveals more. More often than not the English found themselves in a soup, which is expected when being led by a Cook (a not so good one). This led to them clutching at straws (they missed Andy) and depended on the Irish and the Saffers to see them through.

T20 is all about fancy stuff with the clubs also sporting fancy names. So why leave the World T20 alone. A list of fancy names have been suggested for the different countries.

1. Aussie Pups (They are led by one)


2. India Bouncers (To either bounce back or to get bounced out)


3. SA Chokers (Rhymes well with LA Lakers and the chokers tag is all too famous)


4. Paki Missiles (Suicide missiles)


5. WI Chillers (As chill as their captain)


6. English Expats (More expats than English in the team)


7. SL Bamboozlers (Perform tangential to expectations)


8. NZ Dark Horses (They are given this tag in every ICC tournament)

Now concluding with some IPL news. It is becoming increasingly unclear as to whether the IPL is a sports event or a security drill. There is more in the news about security than cricket. The latest rumours read something like this. John Howard, the former Australian Prime Minister and ICC Presidential nominee who will succeed Sharad Pawar in 2012, released a statement saying that a terrorist attack on the IPL is as likely as spotting a kangaroo on Indian streets. His intentions are clearly to please the BCCI, of which the ICC is a part. Now Lalit Modi is sweating over the news of  an escaped kangaroo from Vandalur Zoo, Chennai.

Pitch Report

On to some stuff from the cricketing world. Kevin Pietersen is quite worried. Andrew Strauss has been "rested" according to sources. But English captains have been removed for other reasons recently. So KP is rightly worried that Strauss has not done a Terry. So will they shake hands when they meet again (Considering that Terry and Wayne Bridge hardly exchanged looks)

Pakistan have hit rock bottom. To give their team a better record in the current season, ISI is organising the anonymously sponsored "Four Nation Stan Cup" featuring PakiSTAN, AfghaniSTAN, TurkmeniSTAN and UzbekiSTAN. By the way Afghanistan are favourites considering they chased 494 to win a first class game against Canada.

New Zealand are researching hard to clone Daniel Vettori. Who would not considering the batting-bowling-fielding-captaincy options provided by a single player. But Sourav Ganguly says the move will not work since it will mean having multiple captains in the same team.

The latest security demands have come from the umpires. They have asked Lalit Modi to provide them with helmets during the IPL considering the belters Indian curators are so famous for. And people new to cricket are asking how come the World 2020 is happening in 2010!