Pitch Report IV

So there has been no real cricketing action as such recently. All we have is the Indian Punter's League (IPL) and I am doubtful if it can be classified as cricketing action. Elsewhere the English are welcoming the summer with County cricket. The schedule, teams, grounds would not be out of place for Ranji and WG Grace if they were to descend from heaven. So much for tradition and change.

The IPL has thrown up many new players recently. And no one knows to play cricket. The mess that is the IPL has got Bollywood pretty excited. Directors are working out the best plot to roll out a blockbuster. But one man has beaten them to it. With so many names and characters and sub-plots only one man can bring them on one stage. Yeah, I am talking about Karan Johar. Karan has conceptualized this song where all the characters meet in a big bungalow with SRK (acting as SRK in the movie) in the center, hands midway in the air, head turned upwards.

As the IPL comes to an end, its poor cousin the World T20 is to start soon. The commercialization of T20 is at its height even in a World Cup. Some matches start as early as 9 AM. Everything worked out to cater to the primetime in India. Maybe T20 will have time slots in the future. And companies have invested in a different sort of R&D this time round. Millions have been invested to make the Caribbean pitches inept for short bowling. They dont want 9 AM starts to go waste.

And best wishes to the Little Master on his birthday.

Pitch Report III

Hello and welcome to the....er...third edition (I think so) of Pitch Report (Its been such a looong break). Its cricketing action almost daily but its all in the domestic scene. They call it the IPL. Starting off with international news; the Aussies have just had a undeafeated test summer. Now they have requested Cricket Australia to schedule all their tests only during the summer, be it in the Northern or Southern hemisphere. They do like to turn on the heat on their opposition.

In other news, the IPL continues unabated in India. Oops!! Hope I am not pulled up by Lalit Modi for mentioning IPL as other news. The most scarce resource in the IPL has been superlatives with almost every one of them used. Maybe they will borrow from Spanish or French for the remaining of the tournament. Gautam Gambhir more than others sure needs a lesson in superlatives.

As the IPL has progressed, Kings XI Punjab have emerged as the most feared team. Opposition teams are terrified because losing to them means a setback to their semifinal efforts and also they have to face the ignominy of losing to the Kings XI. And who says you have to be a winner to be feared.

The IPL is being considered as a great innovator but that can be limited to commercial endorsements. Innovations are being talked of elsewhere. ECB has declared that ODI county championships will have two innings - a Tendulkar idea. And Steve Waugh has been latest to endorse pink-ball day-night test matches. The IPL continues to ponder about tactical breaks to go with strategic timeouts. Set Max is smiling.

So the show begins!

Gideon Haigh told recently, "T20 is a TV property masquerading as cricket".

Once cricket becomes a TV product, it is sure to bend to viewers needs and show what they would want to see. So all the effort goes to make life hell for bowlers and the work light for batsmen. The boundary rope is brought in considerably increasing chances of hearing the now too plentiful "DLF maximum".  Then there is the mongoose bat to deal with any venom from the bowler's end. The broadcaster's are leaving no stone unturned to allocate more airtime to advertisers than the actual action. The latest move is to show the ads playing in the big screen between balls. Shrewd indeed!

Whatever maybe the promotion or the place, it all boils down to the quality of the product. IPL will continue to grow and build more muscle. Its star cast ensures quality cricket, and at the end of the day it is the competitiveness which is the main USP. I only hope that bowlers get to have more say in the scheme of things and not imagine that going under 10 RPO is decent.

So the next one month is packed with intense action. All the more reason for every Tom, Dick and Harry to gossip, write, comment, criticize, blog, discuss, and what not. So the show begins, and only time will if the IPL will get bigger than the EPL or the NBA!

Pitch Report II

Welcome to the second edition of Pitch Report. On paper the English team has whitewashed Bangladesh 3-0 in the ODIs. But a closer analysis reveals more. More often than not the English found themselves in a soup, which is expected when being led by a Cook (a not so good one). This led to them clutching at straws (they missed Andy) and depended on the Irish and the Saffers to see them through.

T20 is all about fancy stuff with the clubs also sporting fancy names. So why leave the World T20 alone. A list of fancy names have been suggested for the different countries.

1. Aussie Pups (They are led by one)


2. India Bouncers (To either bounce back or to get bounced out)


3. SA Chokers (Rhymes well with LA Lakers and the chokers tag is all too famous)


4. Paki Missiles (Suicide missiles)


5. WI Chillers (As chill as their captain)


6. English Expats (More expats than English in the team)


7. SL Bamboozlers (Perform tangential to expectations)


8. NZ Dark Horses (They are given this tag in every ICC tournament)

Now concluding with some IPL news. It is becoming increasingly unclear as to whether the IPL is a sports event or a security drill. There is more in the news about security than cricket. The latest rumours read something like this. John Howard, the former Australian Prime Minister and ICC Presidential nominee who will succeed Sharad Pawar in 2012, released a statement saying that a terrorist attack on the IPL is as likely as spotting a kangaroo on Indian streets. His intentions are clearly to please the BCCI, of which the ICC is a part. Now Lalit Modi is sweating over the news of  an escaped kangaroo from Vandalur Zoo, Chennai.