Pitch Report IV

So there has been no real cricketing action as such recently. All we have is the Indian Punter's League (IPL) and I am doubtful if it can be classified as cricketing action. Elsewhere the English are welcoming the summer with County cricket. The schedule, teams, grounds would not be out of place for Ranji and WG Grace if they were to descend from heaven. So much for tradition and change.

The IPL has thrown up many new players recently. And no one knows to play cricket. The mess that is the IPL has got Bollywood pretty excited. Directors are working out the best plot to roll out a blockbuster. But one man has beaten them to it. With so many names and characters and sub-plots only one man can bring them on one stage. Yeah, I am talking about Karan Johar. Karan has conceptualized this song where all the characters meet in a big bungalow with SRK (acting as SRK in the movie) in the center, hands midway in the air, head turned upwards.

As the IPL comes to an end, its poor cousin the World T20 is to start soon. The commercialization of T20 is at its height even in a World Cup. Some matches start as early as 9 AM. Everything worked out to cater to the primetime in India. Maybe T20 will have time slots in the future. And companies have invested in a different sort of R&D this time round. Millions have been invested to make the Caribbean pitches inept for short bowling. They dont want 9 AM starts to go waste.

And best wishes to the Little Master on his birthday.

Pitch Report II

Welcome to the second edition of Pitch Report. On paper the English team has whitewashed Bangladesh 3-0 in the ODIs. But a closer analysis reveals more. More often than not the English found themselves in a soup, which is expected when being led by a Cook (a not so good one). This led to them clutching at straws (they missed Andy) and depended on the Irish and the Saffers to see them through.

T20 is all about fancy stuff with the clubs also sporting fancy names. So why leave the World T20 alone. A list of fancy names have been suggested for the different countries.

1. Aussie Pups (They are led by one)


2. India Bouncers (To either bounce back or to get bounced out)


3. SA Chokers (Rhymes well with LA Lakers and the chokers tag is all too famous)


4. Paki Missiles (Suicide missiles)


5. WI Chillers (As chill as their captain)


6. English Expats (More expats than English in the team)


7. SL Bamboozlers (Perform tangential to expectations)


8. NZ Dark Horses (They are given this tag in every ICC tournament)

Now concluding with some IPL news. It is becoming increasingly unclear as to whether the IPL is a sports event or a security drill. There is more in the news about security than cricket. The latest rumours read something like this. John Howard, the former Australian Prime Minister and ICC Presidential nominee who will succeed Sharad Pawar in 2012, released a statement saying that a terrorist attack on the IPL is as likely as spotting a kangaroo on Indian streets. His intentions are clearly to please the BCCI, of which the ICC is a part. Now Lalit Modi is sweating over the news of  an escaped kangaroo from Vandalur Zoo, Chennai.